Written By Jerome Segers
Posted on August 26th, 2007
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In what has to be the biggest "derp" worthy statement of the year, if not the decade, decent actress/even less decent singer, Lindsay Lohan, has finally admitted to being addicted to that "ooh-wee" after being sentenced to a day in jail for DUI charges.

 "It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so." -- Source: People.com

So, just for the sake of argument, who didn't see this one coming? Since I'm the pop culture version of Nostradamus, I told you all I knew this broad was going to jail this year back in May lol. And secondly, everyone and their mom knows Lohan is on drugs. What other explanation is there for having sex with Fez from "That 70's Show"? I rest my case.

So I'm assuming she said this after years of beating around the bush as some last ditch effort to keep her acting career afloat. I'm still wondering what kind of career this girl has even had. Besides "Mean Girls" and maybe "Herbie Fully Loaded," what the hell has she done recently to make her so important in Hollywood? Erm, nothing?

I haven't been watching the 24 hour news networks lately, but I'm assuming they're going to milk this story more than the Paris Hilton shit earlier this summer.. which is fine, but I hope Lindsay isn't being a wuss about spending a measly day in jail. Those bad kids on talk shows like Maury get tours of jail longer than a day....

Speaking of which, what she needs is that angry black drill sgt. guy who yells at those delinquents to make a visit at her house. I'd personally pay to see that shit... Maury... Tyra... Somebody do this show lol..