Jay-Z & Beyoncé tie the knot; I vomit
Written By Jerome Segers
Posted on April 5, 2008
Last Edited on April 5, 2008 10:17 PM
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Man, I'm out the loop. I leave for one month -- one damn month, y'all.. and first thing I read about when I'm back is Jay-Z and Beyoncé are "supposedly" married? UGH! The world is ending, ladies and gents.

Should I be congratulating the happy newlywed couple? Maybe, but c'mon, I hate both of these ass clowns. Yes, I did enjoy Jay's "American Gangster" last year and I surprisingly enjoyed "B'day" from Beyoncé in '06, so I guess you can just label me a hater. But you know what? I'm fine with that. Hating on these two has become my gimmick over the last two or three years lol.

Still, I can't believe these two (according to the rumors) are married. You know what that means? Hov's gonna boink her with no rubber on now -- which means she's basically going to have Joe Camel's offspring *shudders in disgust*. Here's what People.com had to say:

"Though there is no official confirmation, the friend says, "It happened earlier this evening. Jay wanted it to be a really private affair – close friends and family."

The ceremony was followed by a lavish party at the rapper's Tribeca apartment that drew Beyoncé's mother Tina Knowles, her father/manager Mathew, her sister Solange, her Destiny's Child mates Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, and the couple's friend Gwyneth Paltrow."

Blah. Just blah. Blahbity-blah-blah. But anyways, do you guys even care? I kinda don't, it's like they've been married for the past 6 years as it is lol. I was sorta pulling for a nasty break up.