In what appears to be some kind of closure to the hottest topic to hit the blog scene in '09, the former R&B/Pop power couple of Chris Brown and Rihanna went to court today as expected.
I was looking forward to this event for months, as I am admittedly not a fan of either one of these goofs, but if I rubbed Christina Aguilera the right way and got one genie wish, I'd chose to get rid of Balrog over Fivehead in a hearbeat. I've never liked that dude. I dug a few of his old joints, but overall I always thought he was a bit of a tool.
'Rog was facing some deep shit charges and I was hoping he'd get sent away to jail and just get the entire encyclopedia chucked at him by the judge after getting legally reamed by his ex. Fivey strikes me as the ruthless type. I was totally expected her to make him seem like a monster, esp. since she's over this guy and is now boinkin' Drake on Wheels.
Of course, pooping in my pop culture cornflakes is a common thing around here and Chris Brown's happy ass got off ridiculously easy after reaching a plea agreement by admitting he kicked Rihanna's ass -- which totally took servin' some hard time off the table. Booo! What the fucker did get though, was five years probation and 180 days of community service. He also has to stay 50 yards away (which is a stretch considering the size and gravitational pull of Rihanna's head) and 10 yards away from her at award shows and shit. Meh. The good news in all of this is that if he violates the terms of probation, he's getting sent to be raped for four years! Let's hope for a fuck up!
Still, as usual with these things, I have to ask why celebs continue to get off so easy with serious charges? I guess it's the money? Lemme get famous; I'ma OJ every skeezer that gives me lip. Because we all know if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!
Source: People.com
