".. And when he get on, he'll leave your ass for a white girl" -- Kanye West, from his 2005 hit single "Gold Digger".
However, in Elin Nordegren's case, the wife of golf superstar Tiger Woods since 2004, he'll would leave her ass for another white girl. Tiger's dig the white meat.
It all started after a suspicious car accident near his Orlando home on the morning of November 27th where Woods, 33, was hospitalized after clipping a fire hydrant with his 2009 Escalade before colliding into a neighbor's tree.
He wasn't terribly injured, as he was traveling at a low speed at the time, and was promptly released from hospital care the following afternoon. When it came time to chit-chat with the police though, Tiger and his wife chose to keep quiet -- turning down three interviews with the po-po. Ah, see Tiger, you can be black when you want to!
NO SNITCHIN'!
Rumors began to hit the blog world clamining the scratches on Woods' face were due to an arguement with his wife right before he crashed his whip. And why would Tiger get his ass beat by his scrawny wife? An affair she found out about. The slut basket being connected to him is a club hostess in New York named Rachel Uchitel.
Of course, bitch-bitch (Uchitel, pictured) denies such allegations, even if two days earlier the National Enquirer ran a story saying how the two of them were coupled up in Melbourne, Australia. "Hmmm," says the cat. She's also been paid to sip a big gulp of "shut the fuck up". Figures. Woods has issued an apology for "embarrassing his family" but still hasn't 100% fessed up to gettin' some ass. It's okay, we can read between the lines.
Divorce is something every woman marrying a wealthy athlete hopes for in the back of their minds. These bitches don't marry these rich fools for their personalities, trust me. However, when you're the richest athlete in the world, getting those papers signed would put hella stacks in his wife's pocket. Elin has also reportedly been offered a cool $5 milli immediately if she agrees to stay with Tiger, with her pre-nup getting a healthy $55 million boost. So bribery is how you save marriages these days? Do you girls accept old Sega Genesis cartridges or bulk stacks of ramen noodles? I'm broke.
Tiger's legal dick-suckers have said the couple remaining together would help keep his image in tact for sponsors. Meh. People drink Gatorade, buy Nikes, and get games from EA regardless of who's promoting it. In fact, I think this whole fiasco will help him in the long run.
For far too long, Woods has seemed like this invincible, wealthy, goody-goody with this perfect life. Who relates to that? It's the same reason nobody likes Superman and favors Batman. Atleast now we see that Tiger likes his 2 piece leg and thigh. Now that's relatable. Him being this poster boy for human perfection, however, isn't. I don't appreciate him being this fake-ass coporate persona. Negro, just say you like pussy in copious amounts.
Why are you married anyways? You're the highest paid athlete in the universe! You should be bangin' chicks left and right just because you can. Oh wait, you are. Oops. There are tons of other skeezers coming out of the woodwork saying they had some of Tiger's Frosted Flakes, so don't be surprised to hear more from this story in the coming weeks and months.
How hard is golf anyways?! Give me a damn golf club -- I'll change my name to Puma Steele. And Tiger, I'ma need you to stop getting beat up by Swedish women... SMH..
