It's been almost five years since 50 Cent broke into the mainstream, and I have yet to see the appeal of this guy. So what, he got shot nine times? How incredibly slack do you have to be to even allow yourself to get lit up that badly? And he calls himself a "gangsta" because of this? A true "gangsta" would have shot the other niggaten times. That's like me getting into a fight with a 12 foot Yetti, getting every bone in my body broke, then saying I'm the shit because I took on fucking Big Foot. Um, hello? I got fucking PWNED! As far of rap skills go, yeah, he can rhyme and flow decently but he's maybe 20% talent and 80% hype.
I remember when he first got on the scene with his 2003 hit "In Da Club". MTV was shoving this idiot down our throats by giving him his own specials and playing his video everytime somebody blinked. Radio wasn't helping at all since I literally couldn't go a day without hearing somebody blast "Go shawty, it's your birthday!" from their car speakers. His album hadn't even come out and I was sick of him already! I figured he'd grow on me, but that never happened. I skipped out on 2005's "The Massacre," but I've pretty much heard everything off that album through friends playing it and while I dug some select tunes, overall it was more of the same deal. I always thought he was the weakest out of the G-Unit camp with his running mates Lloyd Banks and Young Buck being miles ahead of him rapping wise (sorry, Tony Yayo is annoying as hell -- how the blueberry fuck does staring at your hand and moving side to side become a popular dance anyways?).
The fact remains for some odd reason, he'll always go platinum (while the rest of G-Unit struggles to go Gold) because enough people believe in this man's own hype. And as much as I hate the guy, I have to admit he's extremely good at hyping himself up. Fiddy is pretty much everywhere these days; getting his feet wet in all kinds of entrepreneurial ventures like teaming with fashion giants Ecko and Reebok to distrubute a line of G-Unit branded items and accessories, putting out the (uber-whack) 50 Cent: Bulletproof video game, getting a deal with Glacéau to develop a grape flavored vitamin water named "Formula 50" (so this nigga got millions for making Kool-Aid?? But I won't front, that drink is really good lmao), and finally making a brand of condoms. I have a joke for that, but I'll let you make up your own on that one lol. At this point, 50 Cent is more flash than Diddy himself, and that isn't good at all.
When he wasn't busy beefing with former G-Unit member, The Game, or the Dipset crew for what seems to have been for cheap publicity, I assume he had time to record his third LP, simply titled "Curtis". I'm mad at that title because, well, that's my first name lol. Now people are going to associate my name with this fuck-ass. So first Martin Lawrence ruined my middle name, Jerome, with his stupid 70's pimp character ("I SAY JEROME'Z IN DA HOWZE! SHUT YA MOUTH!!") and now I'm going to have to put up with random shouts of "CUUUUUURTIIISS!" thanks to his idiotic self beefing with Cam'ron. *shakes head* See what I got to put up with?
And does homey look like Donkey Kong or what on his cover? Quick, somebody get this dude a red tie and put Diddy in a red baseball cap!
As mentioned, the guy knows how to hype something -- I wouldn't be surprised if 40 years from now he got cancer and started to hype his own death. First I heard of a new album coming from 50 was at the beginning of summer when I found out it was supposed to drop in July '07. I wasn't looking forward to it, but it got delayed a few times and eventually settled on a September 11th date, which oddly enough happened to be the same day Chicago's poster boy, Kanye West, was going to be releasing his epic "Graduation". Of course, the media tried to make this a beef where there wasn't one to begin with, even though Fiddy said if Kanye sold more records, he'd quit doing solo albums lol. He later took that statement back (dammit), but even if the two are good sports about competition in hip-hop, Mr. Cent still boosts his own ego every chance he gets.
So I bit. I figured "Curtis" might change my opinion on him if he was hyping it up this much, then it must be good. So the first chance I had to download the leaked version (God bless Bit Torrent), I did. After loading it up in Winamp, I was let down by first grouping of tracks. After a lame and questionable intro of a few Englishmen discussing a gun transaction, we're pulled into the what appears to be the "gangsta rap" portion of the album. "My Gun" is more of the same boring, tired-ass act we've heard from him 3,000 times before. Totally skippable. The audio diahrrea continues with "Man Down" and "I'll Still Kill" featuring the 9th grader humping and fan tossing Akon. I find it not only offensive 50 took a two year break only to kick off his new CD with the same fucking crap about guns, drugs, and killing that he's beaten to death previously, but are we honestly supposed to be sheep and buy into what he's saying in these tracks at this point? 50 Cent made about $32 million last year.
He's living in mansions, driving foreign automobiles, and white people buy his music in droves, which basically makes homeboy POP. That has to be the least gangsta shit I've seen, so for him to continue talking about these subjects is somewhat humorous considering his life style, and he should find something else to talk about. He is 32 afterall...
This trend even continues on a few of the later tracks including the surprisingly catchy "Fully Loaded Clip" and the by-the-numbers "Curtis 187". Yawn. If you really crave some gangsta shit from 50, just listen to "My Buddy" from 2003's G-Unit release, "Beg For Mercy". If you've heard that, then you've heard these disposable tracks.
In my opinion, the album doesn't truly start until "I Get Money," 50's new street anthem, starts at track five. Generally, if you're bored for four entire tracks (three if you take away the intro), then the album has already failed, but "I Get Money" is so energetic you kind of forget about the openers. The beat, while good, loses some points with me for sampling a few other tracks (including Lil' Flip's song of the same name, Cassidy's "I'm a Hustla," and Audio Two's "Top Billin'") to become a Frankenstein-esque instrumental. I prefer this 50 Cent -- the light hearted, funny guy ("have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire, I write the check before the baby comes, who the fuck cares?") over the wannabe, soon-to-be-mid-life-crisis, thug persona of his. It's easily the best track on the entire record.
Maybe I'm missing something here?
