November 22nd, 2008
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| Release Date: November 18th, 2008 |
| Genre(s): R&B, Pop |
| Runtime: 41 minutes, 46 seconds |
| Record Label: Columbia, Music World |
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Myspace Page: Click Here
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 It seems alter-ego's and music go hand in hand. And frankly, sometimes, it can get out of hand.
T.I. has the unruly "T.I.P.," -- the "gangsta" version of himself ('Meet me at the mirror, partnah!") Garth Brooks confused the world with his ill-fated and sloppily conceived "Chris Gaines" project (there was a movie? For real?), and Marshall Mathers takes the cake with his two violent and over-the-top "Eminem" and "Slim Shady" personas.
One, especially an egotistical and gernerally self-absorbed artist, can easily get consumed by the idea of having two (...or more) identities and eventually create what I'll be discussing today: the dreaded concept album. Now, to be fair, there can be some concept albums that work, but the vast majority of the ones I have personally heard through out the years, have been as bad as hot garbage on a southern July day. Hence my trepidation whenever something like this is announced through the blogs.
R&B and pop music schmega star, budding actress, and heiress to the Joe Camel Jay-Z empire, Beyoncé Knowles... Carter (ugh and a half), has hopped on this alter-ego bandwagon ass first on her new album and isn't pussyfootin' around with it, either. World, meet Sasha Fierce.
"I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am. Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage," explains Bey in an interview on UK web site, Telegraph.
So when you buy a ticket to a Beyoncé concert, you're really going out of your way to see Sasha. Awesome. I should sue for false advertisement. I want Bey, not some sweaty chick with bad hair extensions and skank biscuit make up on.
And just incase you still didn't know who Miss Fierce was, an entire viral campaign was launched on Myspace and other areas online asking the brilliant question, "Who is Sasha Fierce?" like it's some freakin' mystery. They're lucky I got Scooby Doo on speed dial. Couldn't have cracked the case without Scoob saying "Ruh row" while watching Shaggy blaze one up.
"I Am... Sasha Fierce" ships as a double disc set. One for Beyoncé and one for "Sasha". But at the end of this review who will need to go see a shrink, her or me?
I'm going to be real with you guys, I'm not the biggest Beyoncé fan on the internet. Surprise, bitches! My lack of tolerance for her dates back to whenever the line-up of Destiny's Child switched -- for the second time. I've just recently, as of her last album "B'day," grown to being able to listen to an entire song of hers without being compelled to bash my skull directly through a sharp object. But what gave me confidence in listening to her great material like "Get Me Bodied," "Flaws And All," and "Irreplaceable" has certainly gone to hell in a hand basket on this crap.
The first and major issue here is the forced segregation of the tracks presented. All the slow songs are on the "I Am..." portion while all the more upbeat cuts are on "Sasha Fierce". That sounds okay on paper but it just makes the entire listening experience a total, disjointed chore. Track separation has never been a great idea in my book because I end up liking a few on each disc and just wish the damn artist combined the great crap for one release. Well, wait, I take that back. In this case, I only end up like liking half of one stinking CD.
"I Am..." is probably the most boring thing I've heard this decade. I'm not even sugarcoating it or going for editorial hyperbole. I honestly can't remember the last time I was this let down by a major artist release -- and I thought Linkin Park dropped the ball with "Minutes to Midnight". Folks, if watching paint dry had a soundtrack, "I Am..." would be it.
The lead single "If I Were A Boy" is pretty straight, though... Despite it having a title that sounds like Bey wants to become a tranny. Although, it's a day late and dollar short since it's a sappier version of "Like A Boy" by Ciara for all intents and purposes. Compared to everything else after this, "If I Were A Boy" is genius and has a good pop vibe to it that's just totally missing from the rest of selection here.
We all know Beyoncé can sing her ass off, so I'm not knocking that, nor am I knocking the production values. I'm just saying you're seriously going to have to be in the mood to listen to this disc. I can't imagine a guy just bumping a boring-ass song like "Ave Maria" in his car.
The appeal with "I Am..." is limited to women -- who has a high tolerance for horrible music. Oh my goodness, this thing just drags and drags for days. I'd rather listen to the entire Pretty Ricky discography. Yeah, I said it.
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