January 17th, 2008
Alice eventually meets up with a group of survivors, which unfortunately include the last two Black people on the planet -- R&B singing disaster Ashanti and the "sorta funny" Mike Epps (yes, THOSE TWO are in charge of the survival of my race!), and saves them from a zombified crow attack by magically turning into Jean Grey from X-Men and blowing shit up with her mind.
C'mon now, if she can do all this why does she even need physical weaponry like blades and shotguns? Being this powerful kind of takes the joy out of a movie like this where the majority of the entertainment value is wondering how the main character can get out of a sticky situation.
 If Alice can blow up stuff and move objects with her head, then why am I even wasting my time watching this? Oh wait, I remember now, I didn't pay to see it.
Anyways, Alice tells Claire Redfield about a diary she found at a rest stop that claims that Alaska is free of infection. The group decides it's their only shot at survival and make it their mission to get there. Isn't it ironic that Alaska, the only place on Earth nobody gave a flying hoot about before the T-Virus is the safe haven afterward? Why is it always like that anyways -- it's the same deal in The Simpsons Movie. Nobody cares about Alaska until some crazy mess goes down.
What follows after this point is a somewhat interesting movie. I was hesitant to load up this thing because Ashanti's lame ass was in it and I figured she was going to have major face time. Thankfully, she dies quickly. After she kicked the bucket, this huge amount of dread was lifted up off my shoulders. The film borrows a lot of elements from the Dreamcast classic, Code: Veronica, so you nerds out there should be jizzing your collective pants to the references and allusions.
What I did find lame was the film's music. That's not a big deal to most people, but if you've seen the original you were probably humming some of the tunes from the score for awhile. That's because Marilyn Manson composed them. The cold and soulless electronica/rock pieces were eeriely pleasing to the ear, but here, the opening credits and several scenes from the film just sound like cheap knock offs. The score's still pretty good, don't get me wrong, but it's very "meh". Again, I know that's a non-issue with some, but excuse me for being a sound nazi.
The final battle is pretty lame, too. Isaacs, who's mutated into this blob of a monster, fights with Alice yet it's not even fun to watch because of her stupid powers. The video games are intense because you only have a certain amount of ammo and if that fails, you have to wildly shank your way to victory via a shitty combat knife (I've done this before on low health). Alice though... This bitch has her crazy abilities to fall back on. I was constantly thinking "Man, you can't do that in the game!"
Like I said in the introduction, you either love this or you hate it with a passion at this point in the game. If you had complaints about the first two, then it's very likely those complaints have not changed in Extinction as it's really the same song and dance. Even with all the bad press the trilogy gets, it makes bank and that's all the studios care about. So, no, nobody important cares about our complaints. Case in point, they're already making a fourth film because this did so well at the box office.
The idea of the Alice character is okay and the plot is decent enough, but it's just executed in such a rushed and choppy feeling way like it's a 89 minute music video. I'm willing to bet if Paul W.S. Anderson told his ideas for the film to another writer, Extinction would have turned out differently (presumably for the better). But oh well, this is what we were given by the Hollywood Gods and this is what we'll have to put up with.
If you're bored though, don't think twice about killing some time with this. I just wouldn't suggest paying for it or making it a top priority to view. Rent if you must, but only buy on DVD if you're not paying (i.e. using a gift card) or you want the Blu-Ray version. I'm sure this would look spectacular in high definition and would be worth the price tag. Otherwise, catch this one on TV for free in a few years.
Comments
I. Bamf
22 Feb 2008, 18:42
Okay, I'm tempted to google to see how many movies use Alaska as the sanctuary for when the characters screwed things up enough. I've only seen the first Resident Evil so I can't comment much on the third one. I assume Alice somehow got magic powers in the second film? I'll have to google that too when I'm done here.
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